You’re So Vein – An Introduction

It all started with blood clots in my lung (pulmonary embolism). Doctors originally thought I was having a cardiac event. But thankfully it wasn’t. However, it led to further issues. A clot had traveled down my left leg and basically blew out my great saphenous vein. Eventually, an ulcer developed just above my left ankle because the valves in the vein no longer work, thus creating irregular blood flow that resulted in pooling around my foot. It’s called venous reflux disease. I underwent compression therapy using an Unna boot for several months. But when I wasn’t getting the results I wanted, or thought I should be getting, I sought out alternative solutions from what I believed to be a highly respectable hospital to which I was referred by my local clinic.

I originally met with a nurse practitioner at this hospital on January 30th, 2020. He suggested that I undergo a procedure called a venous ablation. He conferred with the surgeon, and the procedure was scheduled for April in an operating room with sedation. We continued compression therapy for another month, apparently to meet insurance requirements for conservative treatment for a given time before resorting to surgery. And then I met the surgeon personally on March 5th, 2020, during which time we discussed the procedure in more detail. She explained that she would make a small incision below my knee through which she would insert a catheter housing a wire. She would run the wire down my leg towards my ankle and heat it. This would cause the vein to collapse, thus redirecting blood to flow through healthier veins instead of the diseased one. The doctor informed me that she may have to go in above the knee as well, depending on if complications arose. I asked her where exactly these two incisions would be, and she pointed to my leg a few inches below the knee and a few inches above. She told me that this procedure would take care of my ulcer, varicose veins, and swelling.

I have always had complete faith, trust, and respect for members of the medical community. I think we all do because it’s part of our social norms to do so. We hold them to an immortal status and think it’s sacrilege to question them. They are intellectually and morally superior to everyone else, right? After all, they go to school for a long time and take oaths to do no harm.

And so when this doctor told me I needed surgery in an operating room and that I had to be sedated, I believed her. I thought that if there had been any other options, she would have presented them to me. Doctors want what’s best for their patients, right?

All of my preconceived notions were shattered when I took a shower the night after my procedure and realized that my groin and lower abdomen had been shaved right up to my penis on the side and base. Why was this done? Nobody ever mentioned anything about my groin at any point – just my knee. And I was given a wrap-around gown and disposable underwear to wear during the procedure. So in no way did I ever imagine that the underwear they gave me not even thirty minutes before the procedure would be removed. No way did I ever expect that two women would have their eyes and hands all over private areas of my body as they lifted and rolled my body to pull off my underwear, place the towel over my privates, and then clipped and cleansed my groin and lower abdomen while I was incapacitated – all for a procedure involving incisions around my knee. I immediately felt violated, humiliated, and embarrassed. I have a big problem with what was done to me while I was sedated and unable to protest.

Some of you are rolling your eyes and saying things like:

“They/We are professionals (sic)!

“There was nothing sexual about it.”

“They/We have seen countless naked bodies. It’s no big deal!”

“Stop being a prude.”

“Stop being childish.”

“It was for your own safety.”

“Guys aren’t modest. They don’t care who sees their junk and welcome the intimate attention.” If you believe that, I invite you to read these following articles: https://drlinda-md.com/2016/11/men-patients-forced-man-medical-setting/ and http://patientmodesty.org/malemodesty.aspx.

“Society needs to get past the taboo of nudity.”

*rolling eyes*

If you are one of these people, do not read my blog any further. You will probably not understand. Nor will you likely care about the damage that non-consensual genital exposure and contact can cause, even to men in medical settings. I’m not talking about in the instant such tasks are required to save someone’s life in a dire emergency. This is about elective procedures where the provider knows in advance that there will be visual and physical access of intimate areas of the body, yet chooses not to tell the patient.

Nobody should tell anybody else what they should accept when it comes to intimate access of their body. Members of the medical community should never assume a patient would not have any issues with intimate access. But they do. They believe their mere claims of professionalism is proof that the procedures and tasks they perform are not motivated by sexual gratification. And they think that should be enough. Thus, they feel no need to tell their patients about intimate tasks to be performed during procedures. What an egotistical, selfish, uncaring, disrespectful, anti-professional approach. Ultimately, they force intimate and often traumatic experiences on many of their patients who are in a vulnerable state. And yes, it is still a traumatic experience for some patients even if they are incapacitated and unaware of what is being done to them. It’s the same as if a rapist drugs the victim first. The psyche does not differentiate whether the non-consensual intimate contact occurs in a private residence by a criminal or in a hospital by a doctor. The harm is the same. Yet medical providers feel no need to seek consent for actions that would be criminal offenses outside a medical setting. This isn’t professional or ethical. But society has bestowed upon them a privileged position of power, and their cartel protects them. As you will see, you, as a lone patient, have no true recourse. Basically, we are left begging them to keep their eyes and hands off intimate areas of our body and ask them nicely to change their practices. It’s no surprise that we are promptly ignored. The medical establishment has no interest in policing itself. And from what a local legislator told me, they are lobbying for more power by asking for laws making it even more difficult to hold them accountable.

Speaking of harm, I have suffered a dramatic decline in mental health as a result of my experience. Specifically, I have been enduring depression, sleeplessness, anxiety, and flashbacks. I make conscious efforts to avoid triggers. For example, I walk away or turn my back when seeing nurses in my workplace or other environments outside a medical setting. I changed my route to work in order to avoid seeing a billboard advertising a local hospital and showing doctors and nurses. Thus, my experience has unreasonably interfered with work. Male intimacy issues suddenly arose after the procedure and have not been corrected by medication. It is also difficult for me to shower sometimes because that’s when I discovered that I had been shaved. As is typical with individuals coping with trauma, I have endured a declining relationship with my wife. This strain has been compounded by my wife’s own experience with medical harm as a result of a male dermatologist violating her when she was a young girl. He lifted up her shorts and underwear, peered down underneath, and then stuck his hand down to her groin and held it there. He said he was taking her pulse. And if you’re one of those aforementioned people who unquestionably believe doctors should be allowed to do whatever they want in the name of “medical care,” you are probably pointing out that that is an approved method for completing that task. And you’re right. But it is one way to take a pulse. It’s not the only way and may not be the most appropriate way. Sure, providers have their way of doing things based on science. I just think we have a right to know what they are going to do to us when it comes to our private parts so we can make our own choices when it comes to our body. Yet, we aren’t allowed to question them and their “standard practices.” In reality, it’s sexual assault in the guise of medical care, though there may be no intent to obtain sexual gratification. It’s about the harm they cause. There were other ways to take my wife’s pulse. I didn’t have to be exposed. Medical staff should never resort to such invasive measures when other options are available. And they should be held accountable when they don’t elect to utilize these options. Their unnecessary actions cause unnecessary harm. In the case of my wife, she has been dealing with the resulting PTSD for decades. Over the years, she learned to cope by avoidance, if that is indeed a legitimate coping mechanism. But then my experience triggered her in a profound way. Them viewing and touching intimate areas of my body while in my incapacitated state placed her back in her helpless situation when she was violated as a young girl, too young to fully understand what was going on. She just knew it felt wrong. And it took a long time for her to come to terms with what she endured that day. Thus, my wife has been violated twice at the hands of medical personnel: once directly during her own experience as a young girl and then indirectly by virtue of my experience. It’s called Secondary PTSD. And now I have mental health issues, too.

It’s tough being in a marriage where we truly love each other, yet we cause each other so much pain from what others have done to us through no fault of our own. We were simply seeking assistance with our respective health issues.

Our declining mental health has resulted in both of us seeking counseling. My wife attended several sessions with a therapist and we both met with a counselor with the university. We have discovered that we are not alone. Something else we learned through the counselor with the university is that her department has been trying to work with the medical community. She revealed that medical students have been marked down for “saying too much” to patients. That’s disturbing. She and her colleagues have been trying to educate these medical students on the importance of respecting a patient’s bodily privacy and autonomy.

But in the end, it seems that providers couldn’t care less about the far-reaching effects their unnecessary actions have. So much for “do no harm.” I suppose they never considered that emotional and psychological well being should also be covered in their oath.

Seeking accountability and much-needed change to better protect patients has in itself been traumatic. I have learned that the medical community is well protected by a variety of entities. It’s mafiaesque actually. And what’s worse is that some of these systems are in place to protect patients. Yet, I have been completely betrayed. And you likely will be, too. As you will learn, they can do pretty much whatever they want to you in the name of medical necessity by virtue of vague and deceptive consent forms. They don’t have to seek your expressed consent. Indeed, the amount of foolishness they can get away with is disturbing and disgusting. The primary motivation of hospital administration is to protect them, not you the patient, all in the name of profits. And their cartel will ensure their charges are strongly shielded.

There are multiple purposes for this blog. One is to inform individuals seeking medical care of what they may potentially face. Another is to expose the absurdity that was revealed as a result of my multiple complaints and investigations. Thus, I want to shine a light on the fact that there is a need to genuinely protect patients. The systems in place tasked for that purpose merely make excuses for providers and summarily pardon them. Knowledge is power they say. And right now, the medical establishment has all the power and control because they hold all the knowledge. And they can decide exactly what they want their patients to know and what they don’t want their patients to know. This most certainly includes intimate procedures and tasks. The onus should be on them to justify their need to visually and physically access intimate areas of our bodies. But it’s not. We need to wrest power and control away from the medical establishment and its protectors and place it back where it belongs: with the patient. And that is what I am doing in part with this blog.

I really wish I could name names. Their ridiculous responses and the farce that is their “kangaroo courts” beg for transparency. Given their nonsense and foolishness, they honestly don’t deserve privacy. They afforded me none. Yet, I feel the need to protect myself from the Medical Mafia. I’m just one guy, and lawyers say that it costs too much time and money to protect people like you and me. Suffice it to say that this occurred at a university hospital in the Midwest. Yet, it could be anywhere, as evident by similar stories fellow harmed patients from around the country have shared.

Merriam -Webster defines “vain” as:

1 : having or showing undue or excessive pride in one’s appearance or achievements : conceited

2 : marked by futility or ineffectualness : unsuccessful, useless

3 : having no real value : idle, worthless

4: archaic : foolish, silly

In subsequent posts, a reader will find each of these elements in the chronicle of my attempts to seek accountability.

I do not intend to open up my blog to comments and discussion. Again, the primary purpose is to inform and to bring awareness for much-needed change in the medical community that would genuinely protect patient rights. If you would like to contact me personally, you may do so at medicalmetoo@protonmail.com. I may share questions and comments anonymously on my blog at some point.