Research and Revelations

The day after my surgery when I went for a follow up, I asked the nurse practitioner why my groin was shaved and expressed my objections. I told her I was humiliated and embarrassed. She merely shrugged and offered no direction on how to proceed in seeking accountability.

I was frustrated and didn’t know what to do. A couple of days later, I finally broke down and told my wife. Now at the time, we were not married and living about 900 miles apart in different states. Because of her past, she has steered clear of anything having to do with medical situations. And so she wasn’t able to be there for me through this ordeal, and I was never really able to discuss any of my medical issues with her. I was scared to death the day of my surgery, and I was alone. And I understand her obstacles.

I hadn’t intended on telling her. As a man, I didn’t want to display weakness. But a couple of days after my surgery, she started talking about her experience, and she said, “I know you don’t understand.”

I paused, sighed, and replied, “I sort of do.”

“What do you mean?”

“They shaved me.”

“What do you mean?”

“They shaved me down there.” It was so hard to actually say that out loud.

“WHY???” She was very angry, and so was I. Of course, I had no answer.

“How close did they get?” she asked referring to my genitals.

“Pretty darn close. Too close.”

“How do you feel about that?” she asked.

“Violated.”

Because I was violated. They violated my body and betrayed my trust. Being stripped naked in front of who-knows-who while I was incapacitated was not part of the deal. Not all patients suspend their personal boundaries surrounding intimate areas of their body when entering a medical environment. And it’s disturbing that providers automatically assume that patients do or should surrender bodily privacy. And they are actually offended if you object to it. That in itself is offensive to me.

From that day, my wife and I both set out to try to get answers as to why that was done to me and to make my objections heard. It’s a fact that women are far more organized than us men. She found the patient experience department with the hospital, and I filed a complaint with them. I was not impressed because they did not inform me what this process entailed. So I waited.

July passed into August. August passed into September. Nothing. In the meantime, my ulcer was still gaping and oozing. My varicose veins were still bulging. My leg was still swollen. It was not healing. So my wife and I began to conduct our own research. What we found absolutely disgusted and infuriated us – still does obviously.

Yes, I should have done this research before my surgery. But I fully trusted and respected the medical community. Plus, I was referred to this hospital from my local clinic. When I was told by the doctor at this hospital that I needed surgery and she scheduled it in an operating room with sedation, I figured she knew best. I was scared to death to go under and didn’t want to go through this experience, but she said this is what I needed, and she is the expert with the white coat, so I decided to decided to go through with it.

But even if my wife and I had done all our research beforehand, I still would not have been prepared to be exposed and have my groin shaved because it is something that is apparently not publicized on those “what to expect” sections posted on websites of various hospitals, clinics, and vein centers from around the country. My wife and I have asked each other multiple times what we could have done to have avoided this situation. But every time we have concluded that there was nothing that we could have done. It was all on them. The doctor and her staff had ample opportunities to discuss the preparatory process with me. Yet they didn’t. They provided me with a surgery folder that contained all sorts of information about anesthesia, when to start fasting, what type of clothing to wear, not to wear deodorant, how to wash with this special soap they gave me, where to go the day of the surgery, where to park, etc. Multiple nurses called to go over this information with me again and to ensure I had a ride. But yet, there was no information on what they were going to do to prepare my body. Because incisions were going to be made around my knee, I expected that my leg would be shaved. But not my groin. And because they gave me disposable underwear to wear and a wrap-around gown, I thought my dignity and privacy were going to be respected. So I never thought to ask about intimate areas of my body. That was their responsibility to inform me of the intimate procedure they would perform……or it should have been.

To make matters even more frustrating, I discovered that my surgery didn’t even have to done in an operating room. And I didn’t have to be sedated. Venous ablations are actually more commonly performed in a more relaxed office setting with a local anesthetic only. I read accounts of patients perusing a book during the procedure. I even saw a video of a guy wearing his regular shirt. And it seems that patients see results within weeks. Yet I was violated in an operating room while I was sedated for a procedure that still had not led to improvements months later. Ultimately, I was subjected to the most expensive, invasive, traumatic, and unnecessary experience possible. Why? Why was I never given options? I have my theories that I may discuss in subsequent posts.

October rolled around. I was sick the day of my follow up and rescheduled for November with the doctor. This was the earliest appointment possible. During this time, I started experiencing symptoms of pulmonary embolism, which I had a couple of years prior which led to the discovery of the blood clots. I was put on Zarelto by a prior doctor at my local clinic as a result. I took the drug faithfully, and it successfully controlled the clots. But when I saw the surgeon in March 2020, she told me to stop and, based on my numbers, she wouldn’t have put me on the medication to begin with. The day after my surgery, they found another clot, and the surgeon’s nurse practitioner called in a new prescription. I took all the pills and assumed that was all that was needed because I recalled the surgeon telling me I didn’t need to be on the medication to begin with. I thought this clot was just a result of the surgery, which was one of the risks I was told about. Besides, this surgery was supposed to fix all my issues. And nobody ever gave detailed instructions about the medication.

So I had a lot of questions and concerns when I saw the doctor in November 2020 for a follow up.